ahhhh the things I overhear at school…

So, I’ve been overhearing plenty of odd things at school. There was yesterday’s “It’s like saying you were born racist” and I got another gem today.

We had a free day in one of my classes today, and I pulled out my spindle (a threads thru time medium turkish) and started spinning. I got some of the usual wtf is she doing comments, and I overheard someone ask their neighbor what I was doing.

“ooooooo! Look at her, what is she doing?”

“She’s using the spin to pull string out of the wool”

“Like Rumpelstiltskin and the gold!!”

Now, before I go further into the conversation, I want to say that I was actually really impressed with the explanation and the connection to Rumpelstiltskin. Usually when other people try to explain what spinning is, they say something like “She’s using a bobbin to make thread” or something of the like, none of which make any sense. “Using the ‘spin'” is what I am most impressed with. She got the idea that the twist is what holds the yarn together (most people really struggle with that.) And I was verysurprised to hear her call what I was spinning wool (it was merino) usually when I spin wool, people insist on believing that it is cotton. And it takes people a long time to associate what I do with stories like Rumpelstiltskin or Sleeping Beauty usually. So far so good, but one of the people in the conversation had her earbuds in, so thought she was talking much quieter than she actually was. I could hear her from across the room.

Back to the conversation that I really shouldn’t have heard. (In my defense, it is so easy to overhear when everyone thinks that you are so intent on your spinning/knitting/crocheting that you can’t hear them)

“Wow, that is soooo cool!”

“You know she’s an atheist?”

/gasp/”Oh my god, really?”

“Mmm Hmmm”

At which point I have to admit that I smiled a little evily. It was more of a smirk really.

It’s always weird to hear yourself being talked about (though I hardly think that my atheism is juicy gossip, I am very out about my non-belief) but this was just funny. “Oh my god” seems to me to be a pretty funny response to learning about someone being atheist. Maybe by calling upon their god they will somehow cleanse the unholy one’s soul? I dunno. Or maybe it is ironic, using the lord’s name in vain to express your feelings about atheism? Either way I found it pretty dang funny. It was made even funnier by the fact that the person who did not know about my atheism must be completely oblivious. We talk/ debate about current events a lot in that class, and I have come out as atheist many a time. It shouldn’t be a shock to her, as she has been in that class all year…

whatever.

human.

A popular response to young (and sometimes old) asexuals is to tell them that they will “grow out of it.” That it is “just a phase.” That “you can’t possibly know.”

I think that sexuality can be fluid. It can change (not you can change it, it can change). Maybe it is true that at some point I won’t be asexual any more. My sexual orientation today could be different from my sexual orientation when I am thirty, and the sexual orientation of a person at thirty, could very well be different from that same person at fifty. But does that really matter? Just because something might change doesn’t mean that whatever that something is should be treated as invalid. Who a person is at this very moment deserves respect. Who cares that they might be different later on? They are still human and deserve to be treated as such, not told that they are too young/immature to be aware of their own sexuality. And the response of “you can’t possibly know” is just infuriating. You can’t possibly know about your sexual orientation? Where’s the logic in that? I’m human, and I know.

People down here use the “grow out of it, just a phase, you’ll change your mind later, you can’t know” a lot when confronting atheists. I’ve gotten that quite a few times from both students and adults. “You might find god later.” Yes, I suppose I might. Is it likely, now that I have found His Noodliness, the great Flying Spaghetti Monster (may we all be touched by his noodly appendage), no, it is not. I am an atheist right now. And the people telling me these things were Christians at that moment. Both of us could conceivably change sides on the whole god vs. no god thing. Does that mean that I should tell my Christian classmates whenever they bring up god (which is a lot) that they are just going through a phase, and they’ll grow out of  their imaginary friend? No, everyone would agree that that would be extremely disrespectful to both them, and their religion. Why then is it okay to disrespect atheists in the same way? We are all human. We all deserve the same respect.

In a way though, the comments made to the asexual bother me more. Atheism is an idea, it is something you think. It is something that you can change. It is still a central part of how I identify, but asexuality is part of who I am. Telling me that I’ll grow out of nonbelief is irritating, and it hurts; but being told that a part of me is just a phase, that a part of me isn’t real, that a part of me doesn’t deserve respect, that a part of me is worth less than a part of somebody else, that a part of me is less human than a part of somebody else goes beyond irritating, it is dehumanizing.

And we are human.